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Friday, 23 October 2015

Dressing up or dressing down?

In a recent post (Oct 22) Hannah asks an interesting question,
"When I dress up, I dress really up. I love wearing heels, a nice dress, jewelry and well done makeup... If I were female, I do wonder if I would dress up all the time or if I would have lazy days and be casual at times."
I suspect that a lot of us, especially those who only get to to dress on rare occasions or in private, tend to go a bit overboard  on the glam. After all, what the point of buying that nice party dress if you are never going to wear it, even if it is 11 in the morning. 

For us, those occasions are a rare treat, a chance to express something that is normally buried, hidden or actively denied the rest of the time. Others, with more courage and support, or accepting partners, may find a better balance than swinging between extremes of masculine and feminine behavior and appearance.

Given that, and that women have more clothing and style options available to them, I think that if I were female, or even androgynous enough looking  to pass for female,  then I wouldn't feel the need to dress up all the time. It would be something to look forward to for a party or a night out, but most of the time it would be casual. Maybe not the the extent that I adopt in male mode when not at work where casual verges into scruffy. As a male, I have almost no interest in clothes or sense of fashion and no real interest in my appearance. I exist in a monochrome world of  blacks, greys and dark blues as if I'm trying to fade into the background and not draw attention to myself. I wouldn't dream or dare to wear some of the colors Susie has in her closet.

But - to get back to the point - those are also Susie's 'dress up' clothes. It's just that she dresses up more frequently because she has so much less time available to her. [A psychologist is going to have a field day with this quasi-schizophrenic third  person stuff...]  

 If I were female, as Hannah posited, or able to be Susie full time or without the hour of preparation needed to realize her, I think I'd definitely settle more for comfort and casual over dressy most of the time. Some CDs say they feel more comfortable when dressed. I must be doing it wrong. I feel better about myself, but comfort isn't part of that equation. Heels hurt after a while, as do bra straps. Being tucked in isn't exactly comfortable. And if you blow your nose or wipe your eyes, it's back to the mirror to repair the damage. No, given the opportunity, I'd definitely go for a far more understated look. Slacks or jeans with a tunic top or sweater and ballet flats. However, unless Susie develops a more active social life than I currently have, she might never have the opportunity to wear a posh frock again.


  1. Hi Susie,
    Yup, those straps can dig in a bit, but tucking need not be that uncomfortable. I know some folks use tape (I did until a couple of years ago) but really you can do it without if you choose underwear carefully.
    I know exactly what you mean about selecting the party frock. After all if dressing up is a special occasion, you want to make the most of it! I like to get things as 'right' as I can - partly for the above reason, but also because it helps with the confidence. No point in inflicting a poor effort on the public, eh? Which brings me to the 'hour' doing the transformation. Hmm... takes me three from a standing start. 8-(

    1. Not at all happy with the idea of using tape down there. A size 6-8 firm control brief from Primark works wonders although it leaves me with no bum at all.
      No one else is going to see Susie, and without glasses I only see her in flattering soft focus. God knows how long it would take to make her publicly presentable.

    2. Hmm - I have the same problem. Though I find briefs from M&S to be softer.
      Lack of bum has to be tackled separately. I use foam pads which wrap around, held in place with tights. A bit of a struggle to get right, but once the foam is cut to the right shape and it's in place, it's fairly grippy and does not move about much. Personally I think Carpenter RX41 is the best foam for this. You could buy a couple of slabs about 400mm square and 30mm thick and experiment.
      As for the soft focus - tell me about it! It's all I can see at the moment.. (see my blog), but I can recommend Boots contact lenses - not wearing glasses when dressed really does make a huge difference. It shouldn't, but it does.

    3. I've tried the foam trick, though not to that extent - a couple of small circular bum pads - and I don't always wear tights. Paradoxically, I find every additional layer of artifice, from the necessary layers of makeup and concealer to padding (except, curiously, for breastforms) makes me feel less, rather than more, like the Susie I want to be.

      I really need to pluck up the courage to take my prescription to Specsavers and order a pair of glasses for Susie. If only to stop her bumping into the furniture.

  2. If I look at the women in the office, and not in a pervy way. Their styles of dress vary. You have some who are no make up, flats and trousers. Some who are business casual, some quite glam (not in an overstated way mind!) and some who are jeans & t-shirt.

    Like you, having worn heels for a time, I can understand why someone would opt for flats. Then again, flats aren't always the easiest thing to wear for walking. Perhaps this explains the attraction of boots.

    Anne Summers (of all places) did some padded briefs and they certainly help in the bum department. I'm with Penny on the padding approach. Two sets of shoulder pads on the hips, work wonders.

    Good luck with the glasses. I'm sure you won't be the first person asking for a different style of glasses. :-)